


Project WHITE

by Assassination (samstoleaburger)



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Traits, Gen, Grimmjow is not a bad person, Growing Up, Harm to Children, Human Experimentation, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Nudity, Medical Inaccuracies, Memory Loss, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Slow To Update, rewrite of an old fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4043029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samstoleaburger/pseuds/Assassination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shirosaki was seven when he realized something was very wrong.</p><p>The people in white didn't treat him as kindly as they had when he was five. They never even so much as given him their names. In fact, they stopped calling him by name and had taken to 'Project WHITE.'</p><p> </p><p>  <span class="small">Can't think of a better title or summary...</span></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of a fic I wrote back in '08 for extra credit in my science class that was meant to resemble a Sci-Fi story. After a couple of years, I had the sudden urge to rewrite it and solidify the plot and characters' backstory while I was at it. I had also decided to give Hollow Ichigo the name _Kuroji Shirosaki_ (Shirosaki Kuroji). No idea why, but every time I try to think of a name for him to be 'separated' from Ichigo, I think 'Kuroji.'
> 
> On another note: I highly doubt this is anything remotely close to Sci-Fi, so I'm going to stop trying to label it. That and Nel's name is spelled 'Neliel.' If I'm wrong just tell me and I'll fix it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this.

A man crouched in front of the child. "Now be a good boy and do what the nice people say."  
  
The boy nodded, slow and the uncertainty still clear on his face as he stared up into warm brown eyes. He was smiled at, the man raising a hand to ruffle up his hair.  
  
"Behave yourself, Shirosaki."  
  
Those were the last words he heard from the man before he was led deeper into the facility by a woman in white.  
  
Little did Shirosaki know that he would never see him again.

* * *

He cried when the needle punctured his skin, squirming away and screaming because it hurt so much. He didn't know where he was or why he was there. All he knew was that he was being held down and forced to endure the pain.  
  
Shirosaki tried pushing the hand away. Vain as it was.  
  
Whatever the man in white just injected him with _burned_ , and it only hurt more as he pulled the needle out. His skin felt like it was on fire and his cheeks were sticky from all the tears. He was shushed and, "It's for your own good, Kuroji."  
  
He sniffled and clamped his eyes shut.  
  
If that was the case, then what was wrong with him?

* * *

Shirosaki was seven when he realized something was very wrong.  
  
The people in white didn't treat them as kindly as they had when he was five. They never even so much as given him their names. In fact, they stopped calling him by name and had taken to 'Project WHITE.'  
  
He didn't know what was worse. That he was tolerating all these tests or that he was no longer a person.  
  
To top it off, the man that brought him here never bothered to visit him.  
  
Shirosaki didn't remember what he even looked like.  
  
No.  
  
His memory hasn't been that great lately.  
  
It gave him headaches that required pills to make it go away. He didn't like taking them. They were bad, really bad, and didn't make the headaches go away.

* * *

A woman was sitting with her back pressed to the wall. Her arms were wrapped around her curled knees and her hair hung in front of her eyes. She sobbed and Shirosaki couldn't bring himself to walk on by.  
  
He stopped and crouched down in front of her. "Um...excuse me."  
  
No response.  
  
"Miss?"  
  
Shirosaki placed his hands on the floor before sitting down and crossing his legs. He placed his hands on his linked ankles, leaning forward but keeping a respectable distance. Just so he wouldn't be taken as a threat. After all, she's the first person he's seen in a while.  
  
Someone who wasn't dressed in white.  
  
After what seemed like hours, she lifted her head. She jerked back once she finally acknowledged his presence. "Oh!"  
  
Shirosaki offered up the best disarming smile he could. "Hi."  
  
"Oh...oh. Um, hi." She paused, wringing her hands. She lowered her gaze to her bare feet and chewed on her lower lip.  
  
Shirosaki nearly decided to get up and walk back to his room before any of the nurses saw him talking to her. Wouldn't do to be forced back into his room if they thought he was harassing another patient.  
  
"You know," she said, voice soft and hesitant. "I've always wanted to work in a hospital just like this one. To help people and make them feel better."  
  
She didn't say much after that.  
  
Shirosaki never saw her again.

* * *

He thrashed, straining against the restraints that secured his wrists to the bars beside the edge of the bed. His eyes wide from the horrifying realization that one of the ladies in white was holding a scalpel and the blade was inching closer to his skin. Shirosaki screamed, redoubling his efforts to escape but was soon subdued by one of the many men in the room. He winced from the bruising hold and squeezed his eyes shut.  
  
A frantic wail of, "No!" filled the room as an incision was made.  
  
Voices went round and round around him. Casual tones, blatantly ignoring his cries for them to stop and, "It hurts!"  
  
Funny how everything still hurts. Even after all this time.  
  
There was a crash from somewhere outside, but it was loud enough to make them stop. No one made a sound and the only thing that could be heard was the ruckus going on outside. Whoever caused the disturbance was shouting, demanding to be let go and, "Where am I?"  
  
"Is Sousuke-sama bringing more people in?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
Shirosaki dared to open his eyes.  
  
A nurse turned and locked eyes with him, her face paling as if she'd seen a ghost. He didn't know what was wrong but she screamed, absolute terror lacing through her pitch. It was enough to make him wince.  
  
It caught the attention of the man holding him down and the grip tightened to the point Shirosaki whimpered.  
  
"His eyes..."  
  
_What? What about my eyes?_  
  
"They're not human."  
  
The session that day ended horribly. Shirosaki was forced to stay still as they 'collected samples' of skin and blood decorated the floor. His throat was sore from all the screaming and his eyes were red from all the tears shed.  
  
He felt lucky enough to have his arm bandaged before they left him to his devices.

* * *

The names 'Project WHITE' and 'it' seemed to stick after the revelation of his eyes taking on a golden hue came to light. Even the whites of his eyes began to change.  
  
He should be dead with all the chemicals and drugs they've pumped into his system. He knew, without a doubt, that anyone else would be dead.  
  
Shirosaki wandered down the hall, happy that he was allowed to leave his room for the day. Maybe he might run into someone like him. Someone who wasn't supposed to be here, or, recalling the day of the crash, didn't want to be there. If he was good enough, maybe they could be friends and call each other by name. (Oh, how he so desperately wanted that.)  
  
He turned a corner, ignoring the claw marks on the walls alongside a couple dents. It was never good to question how those got there. The people in white didn't like that. It got people put in solitary confinement. Punished.  
  
Shirosaki paused mid-step once he caught sight of a man leaning against the wall. His hair was blue, pushed back to keep his bangs out of his face and looked rather annoyed. Shirosaki stood there, staring at the man and dropped his head the second blue eyes locked onto his own. He fiddled with the sleeve to his hoodie, keeping his eyes down and out of sight.  
  
There was a moment of silence before, "Hey, kid." made him look back up.  
  
Shirosaki blinked a couple times, gripping his sleeve tight as the man pushed away from the wall and approached him. He almost took a step back, stopping only when the man held up his hands in a harmless manner. It didn't stop Shirosaki from tensing up.  
  
"Calm down. I ain't gonna hurt ya." He lowered his hands, sliding them into his pants' pockets. The man looked him over for a minute before locking eyes with him once more. "What're you doing here? You're just a kid."  
  
Shirosaki frowned. "I'm not here because I wanna be."  
  
"You and me both."  
  
"I'm..." He paused, looking down on his sneakers. He didn't really expect to run into anyone, hopes having been dashed years prior.  
  
"C'mon, kid. Spit it out."  
  
"I have a name, you know." he grumbled.  
  
"'sides the stupid ass 'codenames' they're handin' out?" The man sounded miffed at the mere mention of it. It made Shirosaki laugh. When he looked up again, he was greeted with the sight of a man who'd accomplished his goal. "Good. Now that that's outta the way, how 'bout you tell me yer name?"  
  
It was odd, having someone ask for his name. Odd yet incredibly amazing at the same time. Like a weight had been lifted off his chest. A ray of hope.  
  
"Kuroji Shirosaki."  
  
The man grinned, canines glistening in the bright lights. "Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow."

* * *

Turns out Grimmjow was forced to come here and was being held captive. He relayed every detail to Shirosaki, letting him know just how fucked up the place and the people running it were. It didn't take long enough to link Grimmjow to the person who had caused the ruckus the day Shirosaki had samples taken. Not that Shirosaki could blame him for trying to escape his captors' hold.  
  
He'd been trying to do the same himself, after all.  
  
Grimjow went on to tell him that some 'Aizen' was behind all of this and eventually told him to just call him by his first name. Especially since Shirosaki kept flubbing on saying his family name. Which was fine by him, really.  
  
It wasn't until Shirosaki told Grimmjow his age (he turned ten a couple days ago) and the things he's gone through that he came to realize how great of a mistake he'd made. Grimmjow had grabbed on to a nurse's neck when she came to take Shirosaki to his appointment and slammed her against the wall. The look in his eyes was feral and full of malice as he shouted, "You bitch! Yer experimentin' on a _child_!" and proceeded to squeeze hard enough to cut off her air.  
  
Shirosaki's eyes widened in shock and horror. "Grimmjow -!"  
  
The hall was soon flooded with men dressed in black suits and they worked fast to free the woman. One stayed by her side while the others restrained Grimmjow and sedated him, even as he thrashed in their hold. The one kneeling beside the shaking nurse turned his attention to Shirosaki and scowled.  
  
Shirosaki knew that particular look and took a weary step back. "I-I didn't -"  
  
The man tisked. "Go back to your room."  
  
"But -"  
  
"Go back to your room!"  
  
He cast a brief glance to Grimmjow, fearing what they were going to do to him, and saw that the men were dragging him off to the far end of the hall. With that one look, he didn't dare push his luck and turned around to run back to his room.  
  
He didn't hear from or see Grimmjow for three days.

* * *

There were two projects going on from what he could gather. ARRANCAR was the one Grimmjow and many others were forced into. Shirosaki came to find this out after accidentally catching a glimpse of a six tattooed on the right of Grimmjow's upper back. Then he soon saw a three on a young woman, Neliel.  
  
Shirosaki was the only one in Project WHITE. In fact, he was the only child in the entire facility.  
  
Well if that wasn't disappointing then he didn't know what was.  
  
He stared at the wall opposite his bed and fiddled with the string to his jacket absentmindedly. The building was quiet today and everyone had been confined to their rooms. It was weird, but Shirosaki wasn't going to complain. Much.  
  
He missed Grimmjow.  
  
The last few days had been nothing but test after test that left Grimmjow exhausted and irritated beyond all belief. He'd refused to open the door to his room when Shirosaki went to visit and flat out told him that, "Now isn't the best time, Shiro."  
  
As far as that went, Shirosaki began to wonder just what the people in white - no. The 'quacks,' as Grimmjow put it, were doing to the people in Project ARRANCAR.  
  
Were they pumping them full of unknown chemicals and fluids too? Or were they focused on other aspects entirely?  
  
Shirosaki had yet to see another person with gold eyes. He knew no one else had the whites of their eyes overtaken by black, like he was unfortunate enough to have. Guess he couldn't blame that lady for looking at him like he was a monster now.  
  
_Freak. Disgusting. Abomination. Waste of time._  
  
_"It's for your own good."_  
  
_"Behave yourself."_  
  
_"Not human."_  
  
_It hurts...it hurts._  
  
_"Yer experimentin' on a **child**!"_  
  
_Useless, useless, useless -_  
  
_"Inform Sousuke-sama that 'it' is a danger to society."_  
  
_"Project WHITE is -"_  
  
"Shut up, shut up, shut up, _shut up_!"  
  
He grabbed the thing closest to him and flung it across the room as hard as he could with an agonized scream.  
  
_"Yer a good kid, Shiro."_  
  
He buried his face into his hands and cried.

* * *

By fourteen, Shirosaki overheard some of the nurses talking about how his body might not be able to sustain any more tests in a few years. That perhaps Project WHITE was a bust. A failure. Should've had funding cut a long time ago.  
  
Grimmjow didn't try reassuring him that the inevitable wouldn't happen. There was no sense in trying since they both knew it was coming at some point.  
  
All he did in place of that was let Shirosaki sit in his lap and read a book that some doctor left behind. Occasionally he'd let Shirosaki read, helping him sound out words he didn't know and make a couple wise cracks about the plot. Grimmjow would rest his chin on Shirosaki's head as the boy read, turning the pages and readjusting his position whenever his leg cramped. Sometimes they'd pause to acknowledge a passing patient but would immediately go back to reading.  
  
Neliel would come into their little 'study group' at random times when she was free. She usually had her hair tied back and always carried a notepad to help teach Shirosaki his letters.  
  
"Dummies should at least show you how to read and write." she said.  
  
Shirosaki couldn't be happier.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

It was a week away from his fifteen birthday when he passed the E.R. room on his way to the lobby. The very place many avoided at any and all costs - including him. Shirosaki had the, to put it lightly, 'pleasure' of witnessing a couple patients dragged down that hallway and knew that once they were behind that door, they never came back. If his hunch was right, he would be going down that very hall soon.  
  
Shirosaki knew that he may have some 'problems,' but he wasn't stupid. One doesn't stay in a hospital full of hostiles for as long as he has and not foresee what they might have in store for you. For the 'failed experiments.' That was what the E.R. was for.  
  
Time was running out but Shirosaki kept on smiling.  
  
_Nothing's wrong. It's going to be okay. Nothing's wrong. It's going to be all right._  
  
Grimmjow didn't do anything out of the ordinary, even though he knew. Neliel did too, but kept on a brave face. She kept teaching him his alphabet and worked on his writing skills while Grimmjow tended to reading. Took whatever book or magazine he could to help Shirosaki that day.  
  
No one made a comment on the fact that Grimmjow would pass his pudding cup to Shirosaki. Nor did they talk about Neliel handing over her Jello at dinner in the common room.  
  
Shirosaki didn't bother telling them that he wished he wasn't such a freak. Or how the doctors had been ignoring him constantly since May twenty-first of last year. That the nurses looked at him like he was a pile of shit left out on the sidewalk. The one no one wanted to take responsibility for to scoop up and throw out.  
  
Maybe he was finally reaching his breaking point after the realization of the fact they were going to kill him and treat him like yesterday's news.

* * *

They let him celebrate his birthday as a parting gift of sorts. Maybe as some half-assed apology for all the things they'd done to him over the years. Or for the burden they'd placed on his shoulders.  
  
Shirosaki couldn't even bring himself to eat the marble cupcake that was placed on his tray. He stared at the flame the candle sported, watching as it flicked one way then the other before Neliel urged him to blow it out.  
  
So he did.  
  
He cut it in threes and handed the two larger pieces to Grimmjow and Neliel.  
  
"Happy birthday, kid."  
  
"Happy birthday, Shi."  
  
Shirosaki ducked his head and forced back the tears burning his eyes. "Thank you."  
  
A clock gave a rhythmical, _tick...tock..._ in the distance.  
  
He couldn't stomach more than a few bites.

* * *

Shirosaki wondered just how he got here.  
  
He remembered that someone brought him to the hospital, but couldn't recall the specifics thanks to the medication he'd been put on when the headaches started. Aside from that, Shirosaki didn't remember what his mother or father looked like. Nothing before and after five was just a hazed blur.  
  
Maybe that's why he took to considering Grimmjow as a role model, despite his harsh manner of speaking and temper. Grimmjow was a good man underneath all of that.  
  
He would miss both him and Neliel. With her funny way of speaking like a child at times and how she would be patient whenever he got stuck on a word. How she would praise him and kiss a bruise left by one of the nurses that injected something in him with a syringe.  
  
When he thought about it, Shirosaki realized that he had a makeshift family to call his own. One _no one_ could take from him.  
  
Yet death was the only thing that could rip it out from under him.  
  
He breathed in shakily. "...I don't want to die."

* * *

A large man in a suit opened the door to his room and yanked him up out of bed by his arm. He led Shirosaki down the hall, pulling him to keep up when he lagged behind and not once loosening his hold.  
  
Shirosaki knew this wasn't for testing nor would he be going to the room he was usually dragged to. No, they were heading toward the E.R. and Shirosaki had a passing recollection of people's reactions to going this way. They had kicked and screamed, struggling to get away before a nurse ended up sedating them. (Besides that, those patients were older and stronger than Shirosaki was.)  
  
Everyone, even the newest patients, knew that room and no one wanted to go there.  
  
They passed the lobby and Shirosaki watched it go by before being jarred out of his thoughts when the man yanked him forward once more. It wasn't until they reached the door that the man let go of Shirosaki's wrist and shoved him toward the room. Shirosaki stumbled and jerked his head up once the door opened.  
  
The woman standing at the entrance was wearing white scrubs and a mask covering the lower half of her face. Just like the people on the other side of the threshold. She gave the man a nod before grabbing hold of Shirosaki's wrist, her hand encased in a glove, and led him inside.  
  
It didn't escape him that there were cuffs attached to the rails of the hospital bed. He knew what they were for and knew that many had lost their lives in this room. If the blood on the floor or the smell of urine and excrement was anything to go by.  
  
_Time's up._ crossed his mind before Shirosaki gagged not even three feet from the bed. His knees buckled as he covered his mouth to keep from throwing up what wasn't in his stomach. He pinched his nose shut with his thumb and curled forefinger, closing his eyes and forcing himself to ignore the murmurs of disapproval around him.  
  
"We don't have time for this."  
  
"Get off the floor before you make a mess!"  
  
The nurse holding his wrist tried pulling him back up but he didn't move. "Get up!"  
  
_How 'bout you try walking **and** smelling this place without a mask?_  
  
After a few deep, deep breaths, Shirosaki finally managed to get to his feet and made the last couple feet to the bed. Urged onto it, he was instructed to lay back and once he did so, the doctors standing beside the rails slapped the cuffs around his wrists. Closing his eyes, Shirosaki focused on not throwing up as the nurse left and the group began to converse back and forth. They spoke about him as if he wasn't present and about how this project was a complete waste.  
  
"Not only that, but this _thing_ is dangerous. You were lucky enough to contain him for as long as you have."  
  
_The lights are a little bright. Want to turn them down?_  
  
"Who knows what else he can do."  
  
"What a waste."  
  
_No? That's okay. Not like I need to see or anything._  
  
One of the men placed his hand on Shirosaki's forehead, brushing his bangs back in an odd fashion that had Shirosaki open his eyes halfway to regard the man. He tensed once he saw another doctor prepping a syringe, drawing a good amount of dark blue fluid out of the vial he was holding. Shirosaki dared to look the man hovering over him in the eye.  
  
His eyes were brown, soft and _kind_. He had a strong jaw, neatly gelled back hair that matched the color of his eyes and his smile was just as gentle as his eyes. He looked at Shirosaki as if he knew who he was, touched him without disgust and, surely, hadn't been one of the cruel commentators in the group.  
  
Shirosaki felt something tug at the back of his head and his eyes widened as he sucked in a breath of air.  
  
He **knew** this man. He had to. There was no way someone could feel a pull of familiarity with a complete stranger. Their very presence shouldn't have your mind try to dig out a memory regarding their face.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked, lost and desperate.  
  
The man stroked his hair once more before fading back into the crowd.  
  
"No. No, plea-"  
  
Shirosaki wasn't able to finish his sentence as another gloved hand pushed his face to the side, cheek shoved against the bedspread. He squeezed his eyes shut and struggled against the handcuffs before other doctors took hold and pinned his arms down. The vein in Shirosaki's neck was prominent as he tried getting free from the hands holding him.  
  
It was as if a fire had been lit and he wanted to fight just like the others had.  
  
He knew he was the only candidate for Project WHITE. He couldn't let them put another soul through something like this. He had to get out and _tell_ the world the fucked up things going on behind these walls.  
  
The doctor holding the syringe got closer and inched the needle closer. He nearly jumped back when Shirosaki's eyes opened and at the scream he let loose. It was anything but human. Not by any regards. More like a trapped animal fighting for its life.  
  
"Hold him down!" The doctors soon had nurses try to restrain him by taking hold of his thrashing legs. "For God's sake! _Hold him_!"  
  
They pressed their weight down on him, Shirosaki only managing to twitch as the lead doctor tisked while approaching the bed once more.  
  
"Now you decide to fight when you knew full well what was going to happen the second you stepped through that door..." He heaved a sigh, raising the syringe once again. "Behave and this won't hurt a bit."  
  
_Liar._  
  
Shirosaki clenched his jaw.  
  
The needle punctured his skin, sliding in for what felt like forever before the man pushed down on the dispenser. Shirosaki felt a wave of nausea wash over him as the substance was injected into his body. His fingers skittered against the sheets, curling and fisting the fabric.  
  
He suddenly felt numb.  
  
_Neliel..._  
  
His joints began to stiffen as the needle was pulled out and the hands released him. Shirosaki's limbs twitched at random, his head jerking to the side before falling back to where it was. His breathing became ragged as darkness started crowding his vision.  
  
_Grimmjow..._  
  
"Project WHITE is done."  
  
There were murmurs of agreement, but they were muffled. Almost as if his head was held under water and kept there. Everyone filed out of the room and Shirosaki tugged at one of the cuffs helplessly.  
  
He was going to die.  
  
Shirosaki closed his eyes, resigning himself to the near floating sensation, the way his muscles bunched and hurt when he dared to move. It wasn't until a cool hand rested on his cheek that he whimpered and tried to lean into the touch.  
  
The man who had brushed Shirosaki's hair back earlier smiled at the reception. He leaned over, bending down until his breath ghosted over Shirosaki's forehead. He pressed a chaste kiss on the clammy skin. "Don't give up now." he whispered. "Be a good boy and wake up, Shirosaki."  
  
He stood up, letting his hand slip away, and left the room while shutting the door on the way out.

* * *

Several hours later, Shirosaki's hand twitched and his chest expanded. After a good ten minutes of simply breathing, he opened his eyes and blinked a couple times to reorient himself. Shirosaki turned his head from side to side and realized he wasn't in the E.R. anymore. In fact, the room reeked of death and decaying bodies.  
  
He slowly rolled himself onto his side, lifting his head to survey the room and felt his stomach do a nasty flip at the sight he was greeted with.  
  
There was a pile of bodies by, what appeared to be, an incinerator. Their dead, fish-like eyes staring right back at him and, upon further inspection, a few of their limbs were missing.  
  
Shirosaki's breath caught at this and dropped his head to see if anything of his was missing. Only to be relieved when he realized he was still in one piece. Except for the fact he was naked, but that was a trivial inconvenience at this time. Still, if the smell of the E.R. wasn't enough to make him throw up, this would definitely take the cake if whatever drug he was given hadn't been taking its time wearing off.  
  
_Thank God for small miracles._  
  
After a couple minutes, Shirosaki placed his palm flat against the cold floor and pushed to sit up. His movements were lethargic and felt as if his entire body was made of lead. Slowly but surly, he accomplished his task and took a deep breath. Only to cover his mouth once he inhaled the decomposing scent just like before.  
  
_No. Don't throw up. You have to get out of here before someone comes._ Shirosaki urged himself.  
  
He closed his eyes and took a few steadying breaths before lowering his hand. Opening his eyes, Shirosaki got to his feet and grabbed onto the wall to balance himself. He glanced around the room, seeing a singular door with a garbage chute a couple feet away from it and a few lockers on the far side of the room. Minus the incinerator, shovel and the corpses, there wasn't much else there.  
  
Shirosaki took a step away from the wall, stumbling a bit before righting himself, and made his way to the door first. He gave the handle a slow turn, testing to see if it was unlocked and felt his heart sink when it came to an abrupt stop halfway. Releasing the knob, Shirosaki set his sights on the lockers. He prayed there were at least _shorts_.  
  
The first locker had nothing besides a pile of magazines with a variety of scantily clad women on the cover. Shirosaki's face went a dark red before he slammed the door shut.  
  
The second and third didn't have much inside either. At least, nothing he wanted.  
  
With a heavy heart, Shirosaki opened the last one and lit up once he noticed a pair of folded up sweatpantss on the bottom. Snatching them up and slipping his legs in each pantleg, Shirosaki pulled them up to his waist. He took hold of the strings and tugged until the sweats had no chance of sliding off before he tied them. Once secure, Shirosaki shut the locker and turned to survey the room once more.  
  
He didn't have many options on what to do now. It wasn't like he could force the door open since he wasn't as strong as Grimmjow. Shirosaki didn't even know how to pick locks like theives in one of the books he'd read could.  
  
There was no way he wanted to stick around to see what the employees would do if they saw that Kuroji Shirosaki wasn't as dead as he looked when he was brought in.  
  
Shirosaki regarded the garbage chute with an array of emotions. He didn't want to find out where he'd end up if he went down there, but, then again, he couldn't stay here. He took a step toward it.  
  
_What's the worst that could happen?_  
  
He got closer.  
  
_If I stay here I'm dead. Again._  
  
Shirosaki pushed the cover up and nearly recoiled at the stench. It wasn't as bad as the bodies, but it smelled like weeks of food had been left to rot at the bottom of the shaft. He made a disgruntled noise in the depths of his throat before pinching his nose closed. Shirosaki looked away from the chute, squeezing his eyes shut as he mentally prepared himself.  
  
_It's just garbage. It's just a big pile of stinky, disgusting garbage. Better than going into a furnace... You can do this. You. Can. Do. This._  
  
He opened his eyes and turned back to the garbage disposal. Lowering his hand, Shirosaki crawled inside feet first. He pressed the flat his hands and feet against the sides to keep from sliding down. Once he got his other hand in and inched away, the lid slammed shut behind him. Leaving him in complete darkness and Shirosaki swallowed.  
  
"Okay..." he said, voice shaky. "Okay. Easy." Shirosaki moved to slide his left hand first then the right with his feet following the steady, slow pattern and did so for the rest of the way.  
  
Shirosaki was relieved that things were going well until he stepped in something slick. He gasped once his heel skid farther than intended  and quickly tried to regain his footing. Shirosaki got one intake of air in before he skid the rest of the way down with a scream.  
  
He squeezed his eyes shut and hissed at the pain from the friction on his bare skin. Giving one last cry, he plummeted into the dumpster below. The multitude of bags accumulated inside broke his fall and Shirosaki heard at least one of them make a ' _squealch_ 'ing sound. He felt his stomach roll at the thought of what it could have been and rolled away.  
  
Shirosaki pushed his hands against the bags to try and stand so he could look around.  
  
There was definitely garbage in the dumpster. No doubt about that.  However, he knew that not all of it could be trash. Not with the shute being connected to the morgue.  
  
He tipped his head back to peer out the opening. Shirosaki stared at the cloudless mid-morning sky in pure awe, his breath catching once he heard a bird chirp somewhere in the distance. He chuckled, low and soft, disbelief crystal clear. Soon he broke out into joyous laughter and a mile wide smile on his face.  
  
"I'm out," Shirosaki grinned. "I'm out!"  
  
His legs buckled and Shirosaki fell back against the numerous garbage bags. He continued looking up at the sky, his eyes wide and full of bliss.  
  
"...I'm out."


	3. Chapter 3

It took a while, but Shirosaki managed to get a hold of himself and crawled out of the dumpster. He held onto the lip as he lowered himself to the ground and gave the chute one last glance before letting go.  
  
Shirosaki winced the moment his bare feet touched the heated asphalt. It was a huge contrast from the hospital and morgue. Different, but not unpleasant. He liked it and wiggled his toes as he closed his eyes to memorize the feeling.  
  
This must be what Grimmjow had tried explaining to him. Or, at least, one of the many things.  
  
It was warm, the sun was high in the sky, birds were singing and a breeze would roll by occasionally.  
  
He opened his eyes and turned to survey his surroundings. What he saw wasn't promising in the slightest. It looked like there was nothing but trees going on for miles. Worse than how it looked inside the facility.  
  
"It's not that bad." Shirosaki frowned, narrowing his eyes at the miniature forest. "Yeah." He nodded. "Just keep going straight."  
  
With that, he ventured forth and kept putting one foot in front of the other.

* * *

He was lost. Absolutely, positively lost and Shirosaki had no idea if he was anywhere near civilization. Much less as far away from the hospital as he could be so no one would find him. Surely the workers realized his body was missing by now.  
  
Yet he didn't hear any alarms go off.  
  
Or maybe he was a good distance away and the forest was dense enough to block out the noises.  
  
Shirosaki swallowed, fidgeting with his hands as the grass tickled the soles of his feet. He peered over his shoulder for what felt like the millionth time that day. Only to, once again, see that he was completely alone.  
  
It was weird. He was so used to Grimmjow or Neliel being around but now he didn't have that luxury. Shirosaki bit his lower lip as he turned his attention back around, nothing but trees to keep him company.  
  
_Are they going to go through that?_  
  
He placed a hand flat against the bark as he passed, the rough texture reminding him of a plant that was in a doctor's office. That one, lone plant perking up whenever the sun would grace them with its presence during a session.  
  
_Am I gonna see them again?_  
  
Shirosaki pulled his hand away.  
  
_...will they even miss me?  Wait. Would they remember me?_  
  
_People barely remember anything after taking their meds..._  
  
_"Don't give up now."_  
  
He broke out into a jog, weaving through the foliage and pushing aside small branches.

* * *

Shirosaki reached a clearing around mid-day. A small pond with a couple trees and shrubs surrounding it was smack dab in the middle. He'd ducked behind one of the few trees the second he heard a man's voice calling someone a, 'chicken shit,' and whoever he was talking to shooting back, "Go fuck yourself, Ren!"  
  
Peeking around the corner, Shirosaki squinted against the sun's rays bouncing off the surface of the water. He blinked once he saw a long sleeved shirt be thrown haphazardly to the ground. Soon it was followed by a pair of pants, socks and boxers. Right next to three other pairs of clothes. Two of the four were neatly folded and clearly feminine.  
  
_What the heck are they -_  
  
"Happy now, asshole?"  
  
"If ya get your scrawny, pansy ass in then I will be. There's no one here."  
  
"'sides you and Yuka and Shiemi..."  
  
_...that explains the girl clothes._  
  
"Oh. My. Fffff-"  
  
"Kenta, just get in!"  
  
Shirosaki's eyes nearly doubled in size as a very naked woman came into view and he pressed his back flat to the tree. Raising his hands, he covered his flushed face and bit back a groan. It brought back finding that magazine in that worker's locker and now he's seen a _real girl_ barren of clothing.  
  
Today was not a good day.  
  
He slowly slid down to his rear and curled up into a ball once he connected the dots. This had to be what authors called 'skinny dipping.' Now he understood what it meant. Fully. A hundred percent.  
  
There was a dual splash a few minutes later.  
  
Only then did Shirosaki dare peek behind the tree and he looked down at the articles of clothing left unsupervised. He furrowed his brows, pressing his lips in a firm line as he turned to get on his hands and knees. Slowly, Shirosaki crawled toward them and noticed a pair of sunglasses beside one of the women's shirts. Although they weren't entirely girly, he hesitated in taking them to hide his abnormal eyes.  
  
That didn't mean he didn't snatch up the black hoodie and a pair of shoes. Luckily the owner had stuffed their socks inside.  
  
Shirosaki looked at the sunglasses once again and bit the inside of his cheek before taking them. Placing a stem between his teeth, Shirosaki began sneaking back over to the tree he'd been hiding behind. Fortunately, he didn't accidentally bring unwanted attention to himself and once he was safe from view Shirosaki slipped the hoodie on. He donned the sunglasses and gripped the hood to pull over his head.  
  
Taking the socks out of the shoes and slipping them on, Shirosaki wriggled his toes from the feel of the soft cotton. He couldn't help but grin as he slid one foot after the other into the red sneakers. His deft fingers tied the laces and Shirosaki took a moment to look himself over.  
  
He breathed out, "Wow."  
  
He looked normal.  
  
A high pitched squeal knocked him out of his thoughts and Shirosaki stiffened until a laugh answered the cry.  
  
Shirosaki let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding before pushing to stand. He cast a quick glance toward the pond to be sure no one noticed that some of their things were missing. Once he was sure he was in the clear, Shirosaki headed off and took extra care to sneak around the group.

* * *

_Grrrowl..._  
  
Shirosaki wrapped his arms around his stomach and squeezed his eyes shut. He hunched over as his stomach growled once again. Shirosaki swallowed and whined not even a minute later.  
  
God, he was starving. Which made sense since he hadn't had a chance to eat since he was 'put out of commission.'  
  
Sucking in a deep breath, Shirosaki opened his eyes and stood up straight as he dug his nails into his biceps. _Suck it up. You can't go back and you can't ask anyone for food. You're on your own._  
  
His face scrunched up as he ran his eyes over his current surroundings. Nothing but trees and cars -  
  
**Wait**.  
  
Shirosaki blinked then did it again as he stared at the parking lot in front of him. He turned on his heel to look back the way he came then spun back around to look at the lot again. There were a few cars parked in various spots and they were a variety of colors. Just like Neliel and Grimmjow said.  
  
His heart leaped into his throat and Shirosaki felt like his eyes were burning.  
  
He lifted a hand as he closed his eyes and scrubbed at them while his shoulders shook. Oh God. He could finally talk to someone who would listen and they would get the cops to go to the hospital to stop their experiments.  
  
Shirosaki gave a soft, relieved laugh before his stomach clenched and gave the harsh reminder that he still needed to eat.  
  
Lowering his hand and opening his eyes, Shirosaki returned his gaze to the empty cars. He made his way over to one and peered in through the window. Empty. Making his way to the next one, he repeated the process until he got to the last one and once again ended up with nothing. Shirosaki sighed, resting a hand on his stomach.  
  
_I can last...just a little longer._  
  
He chewed on his lower lip as he stepped away from the vehicle and walked down the path leading out of the parking lot. Upon exiting, Shirosaki saw the sign proclaiming  _Ribāhaitsu_ and made a mental note to remember it.

* * *

Neliel had decided to head to the lobby to check up on Grimmjow. She grabbed hold of her notepad out of habit and simply because she missed Shirosaki. When she reached the entrance, however, Neliel paused and took in Grimmjow's posture.  
  
"...Grimmjow?" she prompted, slowly making her way over to him as he lifted his hands.  
  
He stared down on them as he stood in front of the barred window in the lounge. There were callouses forming on the tips of his fingers and the joints hurt like a bitch. Grimmjow swore that if he stared long enough he'd see blood staining his once tanned skin. Though it had lost its pigment and was now pale due to the lack of sunlight.  
  
Almost like...  
  
"Grimmjow?"  
  
His hands twitched, fingers curling with a ' _crack_.' Raising his head, Grimmjow locked blue, wild eyes onto Neliel's calming grey. The first thing Grimmjow noticed was that her hair wasn't in its usual ponytail and the long green strands cascaded down her shoulders. Another thing he noticed was that her hands were trembling and that she had the notepad in a death grip. On the last page Shirosaki had written on.  
  
"What do ya want, Nel?" he hissed as he narrowed his eyes. "And why're you carryin' that around? He's not here anymore."  
  
Neliel pursed her lips, eyes filling with tears as she tried forcing a smile but couldn't bring herself to look at Grimmjow. The tears slipped down her cheeks the second she blinked. Hot and sticky. They left dark, wet marks wherever they landed on the sheets.  
  
"I miss Shi too, you know." She sobbed, closing her eyes and lowering her head. "You don't have to pull the tough guy act because I know how much you care about him. You can't tell me you don't. I've seen it." Neliel opened her eyes and lifted her head only to regret it once she got a good look at Grimmjow's face.  
  
His eyes were a darker shade of blue than usual and full of uncontrollable rage. Grimmjow's hands had curled into fists sometime during Neliel's response and they were shaking. His pupils had shifted, shrinking to slits and his teeth were clenched.  
  
Saying that Grimmjow was upset would be a huge understatement.  
  
"You think this is an _act_?"  
  
Neliel's eyes widened. "What-"  
  
Without warning, he slammed the side of his fist against the window and the glass underneath cracked. The destruction spread a good foot before it shattered, pieces falling to the porcelain floor in a small heap. Neliel barely had time to step back as Grimmjow's other hand swung out, aiming to grab a handful of the front of her shirt but security grabbed hold of him. Even they had trouble keeping a hold of Grimmjow as he struggled.  
  
He was hissing and snarling like a feral animal.  
  
Grimmjow locked eyes with Neliel before pointing a clawed finger at her face. He then shouted something that was almost lost in all the chaos.  
  
She froze in place as orderlies rushed in to sedate him. Neliel watched in stunned silence as Grimmjow was put under and dragged away. A small trail of blood left behind from the glass and claws cutting into Grimmjow's skin.  
  
Forcing the shock and fear away, Neliel looked back down at her notepad as she thought over what Grimmjow said.  
  
_"You don't know a fuckin' thing!"_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't obvious, it's been a few days since Shirosaki 'died.' Also, I loved the last scene so much that I wanted it to be the ending of chapter three. I'll try to make four longer, but we'll see.


	4. Chapter 4

There was a rap of knuckles against his door just as Aizen took a sip from his coffee mug. He paused, lowering the cup and turning in his chair to regard the clock above the door. It wasn't time to head to the testing facility to see how his subjects were progressing and he knew he had nothing scheduled until noon.  
  
With a sigh, Aizen set the mug down and prepared himself for whatever bad news his visitor had. Especially since it wasn't uncommon for an experiment to suddenly drop dead or go mad from all the appointments they endured. Nor was it unlikely that they wouldn't attack another patient. "Come in."  
  
Aizen furrowed his brows as a security guard and a shaken nurse entered the room. He frowned once he noticed the claw marks adorning the guard's face and the bandages on his arms while the nurse fiddled with the clipboard she was holding. She kept her eyes down and away from Aizen's, as if expecting an extreme reprimand should she look up. The security guard, however, didn't have this problem and kept his face straight as Aizen examined them once again.  
  
"What is it?" He pushed away from his desk and stood, making his way over while directing his attention to the guard. "Has one of the experiments gone rogue or did they 'expire?'"  
  
The security guard grunted and gently nudged the woman forth.  
  
Aizen turned his focus to the nurse and offered a small smile. "You're not in trouble, Miss Tsumura. Now, please, tell me what happened."  
  
She peered up from her clipboard before looking back down and she took a deep breath. "Experiment Number Six had an altercation with Experiment Number Three at two in the afternoon today. It seems as though she may have said something to upset him to the point he lost control of his human features, as you can see on Mr. Muto here." Tsumura gestured to the guard before flipping the page. "We reviewed the footage prior to and have come to the conclusion that Experiment Number Three had brought up Project WHITE. As she was holding something WHITE had written on days before he was taken to the E.R. We had to increase the usual dose for Experiment Number Six to calm him enough to escort him to his room." She thumbed the page and furrowed her brow. "Sir, if I may, should the subjects become immune to the sedatives, we may have a problem. Brute strength isn't quite as effective as it once was."  
  
Aizen crossed his arms as he mulled over this bit of information. "It seems like we'll have to work on another fail-safe. Go inform Dr. Tamaki of this development and tell him that should it come down to it, I want it to be permanent. Enough to shut them down completely once it's injected." Tsumura nodded and spun on her heel to hurry to the lab as Aizen turned to Muto. "Take tomorrow off, Muto. Don't worry, this will not affect your hours. I feel as if you deserve time off for the damage Experiment Number Six had caused."  
  
"Thank you, sir." Muto gave a curt nod before he left as well.  
  
Now left to his own devices, Aizen went back to his desk and pulled up all the surveillance that was relevant to Project WHITE and the two ARRANCAR subjects. He placed his elbows on his desk as he threaded his fingers together, a grimace crossing his features upon the hours of footage available. Aizen ran his eyes over the dates and realized that it all began the moment WHITE had turned ten and ran into Experiment Number Six in the hallway.  
  
 _This is troublesome._ He took his hand away only to boot up the footage and only moved it to pass by anything that didn't hold his interest.  
  
It was obvious that WHITE was attached to Experiment Number Six and that it didn't take very long for it to be mutual. How Experiment Number Six took WHITE under his wing and even dared to assault medical personnel to protect the child once it was revealed that WHITE was undergoing testing. Aizen also noted how he'd never let anyone he deemed a threat get close, but Experiment Number Three became the only exception. Not even Experiment Number Four could get nearby without Experiment Number Six snarling at him.  
  
He furrowed his brow the further he got, watching them bond and become a tight-knit, makeshift family. How they looked out for each other and took care of everyone in their little circle.  
  
 _Family. A weakness. Something to be torn down._  
  
Aizen paused the video absentmindedly and hummed at the scene. Experiment Number Three had been curled up in a chair beside a couch that Experiment Number Six and WHITE were occupying. Books clasped in their hands without a care in the world. However, WHITE was sitting in Experiment Number Six's lap, eyes intent on the page and lips parted as if he was reading to him. Not to mention the fond look on Experiment Number Six's face as he rested his chin on WHITE's head.  
  
The corner of Aizen's lips tugged upward. _Found you._  
  
This is his advantage.

* * *

Grimmjow paced restlessly around his room as he snarled. He couldn't remember much after the orderlies sedated him with a heavy enough dose that could kill a _normal_ human being. What he could, however, was Neliel's terrified face from his outburst but Grimmjow knew that part of it was to blame on 'that.'  
  
The experiments he'd gone through were mostly different from the others. A nice little tidbit he'd learned from Deroy talking about it one day with Starrk about it and how Srarrk spoke of his experiences in return. Though one thing seemed to remain constant.  
  
Aizen was fusing their DNA with that of an animal's. Impossible as it was, he somehow managed to make it work.  
  
Grimmjow could almost laugh at the absurdity of it if it wasn't a painful truth.  
  
He cast a glance to the varying claw marks on his door and growled as he flexed his hands. Those, alongside the scores on his walls, were from him. Usually resulting from him losing his temper or adrenaline from the exercises the doctors put him through. Even if said tests were, to put it simply, life or death matches against other 'volunteers' for Project ARRANCAR.  
  
Grimmjow had never been more grateful than he was the first time it happened and he later realized Shirosaki would be spared from seeing the monster Grimmjow would and _is_ becoming. He knew the kid looked up to him and Neliel like they hung the sun in his bleak world. Could tell with the way Shirosaki would glow whenever he saw them during the day.  
  
It made Grimmjow wish he could have done something to prevent Shirosaki's trip to the E.R. and escape with Neliel in tow. Run away as far as they could to a place where Aizen had no influence. To alert the authorities to the dark deeds happening within these walls and go back to a relatively normal life.  
  
Instead, he's slowly but surely going insane. Seeing blood in never ending amounts on his hands, the floor and the walls. He could even smell it and the metallic tang lingered on his tongue some days.  
  
Grimmjow dug his nails into his palms and stopped pacing after another round. He stared at the wall with an unwavering gaze as he heard someone approach his room. The soles of their shoes clicked against the linoleum and there was a muffled conversation before his door swung open. Grimmjow didn't move but caught the outline of a man in a lab coat from his peripheral.  
  
It wasn't until he heard the man speak that his aggression began to resurface.  
  
"Ah, you're awake, Grimmjow. That's good. Now, I heard that we had a bit of an...' _incident_ ' earlier."  
  
Grimmjow barely resisted the urge to snarl and utter the threat that wanted to crawl out of his throat. He then heard two more sets of feet settle just outside the room and knew that should he step out of line that it would end poorly for him. Especially if Grimmjow tried strangling the sonuvabitch that came into his cell.  
  
"Not just any incident, mind, but one involving the mention of a certain someone." Aizen glanced over his shoulder before making a vague gesture with his hand. Upon seeing it, one of the guards shut the door to give them some semblance of privacy. "It would seem as though his death has affected you more than I thought it would."   
  
Aizen paused for a moment, crossing his arm and tucking his thumb under his chin. He tapped his chin with his curled index for a few beats as his gaze ran over the damage done to the walls.  
  
"Well, I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. After all, he was a likable child. I can understand if you grew attached the second you saw him. Quiet and shy as he was. Or so I heard from a few of the staff. I'm sure you know that Neliel is taking his loss hard too."  
  
Grimmjow couldn't hold back the warning rumble in his chest as he whipped around to face Aizen. His jaw ticked as his muscles strained, a niggling in the back of his mind screaming, _Danger, danger,_ once he saw Aizen's mouth twist into a sadistic smile.  
  
"Or are you taking it hard for another reason?"  
  
"What're you talkin' about?"  
  
Aizen's smile became downright cruel once Grimmjow took the bait and hummed. "Did you honestly think I didn't see the way you looked at him? I'm disappointed, Grimmjow."  
  
Grimmjow grit his teeth and took a step forward, his features darkening as his canines extended. "The fuck're you on about, you psychotic asshat?"  
  
"I'm sure it's obvious." Aizen cocked his head to the side, just a bit, before he rose a brow. "After all, what grown man lets a _fourteen year old boy_ sit in their lap? Even if you were teaching him how to read, certainly you could have done it sitting next to each other. Not to mention how you never let him out of your sight if you could help it."  
  
He lowered his hand and watched every tick of Grimmjow's face. The way his muscles jumped and bunched together as if coiling up in preparation to strike.  
  
"Perhaps you wanted him all to yourself? Not that I can blame you. He is rather beautiful."  
  
Grimmjow's eyes flashed as he clenched his hands tight to the point his knuckles turned white. "It was never like that, you sick fuck!" He could feel his nails digging through his palms once more, cutting into his skin and blood dripping from the wounds. Grimmjow also knew his features were changing alongside that, his vision sharpening but still zeroed in on Aizen's smug face.  
  
"I doubt that." His eyes fell halfway shut and his voice dripped of a sick promise. "What would your darling Shirosaki say if he knew how you _really_ felt about him?"  
  
Grimmjow let out an enraged roar as he launched himself at Aizen. Intent on ripping his heart out and watching the bastard bleed out on the floor. The thought of clamping his teeth around Aizen's throat and tearing it to shreds the most prominent. The most satisfying.  
  
How dare he try and tarnish the relationship Grimmjow had with Shirosaki?  
  
How dare he assume he knew what it was?  
  
How dare he _say_ Shirosaki's name like he could do so whenever he pleased?  
  
He only managed to get a hand around Aizen's throat before the guards burst open the door and tackled him to the floor. Grimmjow hissed as he struggled but felt a stab of satisfaction once he saw five angry lines adorning Aizen's skin. Especially once he smelled the blood that came from the injury.  
  
However, Aizen didn't seem alarmed by Grimmjow's reaction. In fact, he seemed more pleased and amused than anything.  
  
"I see. So that's your trigger." he spoke, cold and clinical. Aizen turned his focus to one of the guards as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a sedative. "Use this and don't let him out for a few days. I think I have all the information I need for now." He held it out for either security guard to take. "I'll also have the doctor administer a strong dose of medication for an IV while our little friend is taking his nap."  
  
Grimmjow bared his teeth and spat a curse as the guard took the syringe. It took a few minutes, but the needle pierced his skin and Grimmjow remained conscious as long as he could. He watched as the guards got off of him and how Aizen's smirk remained in place even as he wiped the blood off his neck.  
  
"Maybe if you're good I'll let you see him again."

* * *

Shirosaki gnawed on his lower lip as he entered the town's convinience store. His stomach had been growling like crazy a good five minutes ago and started to cramp as well. Almost as if it was trying to eat itself. Which was unpleasant at best and painful at worst.  
  
He trudged toward the nearest rack and ran his eyes over the selection. Noticing the assortment of candy and gum, Shirosaki moved into the next aisle. He stopped beside another customer that seemed to be debating on what to get. Though once Shirosaki noticed what looked like beef jerky, he almost reached out for it to momentarily block the other customer's view but forced himself to wait. It would be rude, for one, and if he accidentally caused a scene then he'd need to run off. Again. While starving.  
  
As if just thinking about food was bad enough, it got worse the second his stomach decided to make its demands known. Loud and obnoxious enough to have the person he was standing next to look at him.  
  
Shirosaki ducked his head and felt his face warm. "Sorry."  
  
"Uh..." There was a pause and Shirosaki felt his heartbeat pick up slightly from fear. The man - no, boy - cleared his throat before raising a hand and gestured to the selection. "It's fine. Am I in your way?"  
  
Shirosaki shook his head and fiddled with the jacket's sleeves.  
  
"You sure? You've been standing there since you got here."  
  
"I'm..." He took a moment to breathe, to calm himself down, slow his racing heart. Remind himself that he's fine. That it's normal to be polite and curtious alongside being quiet and waiting one's turn. "I was just looking."  
  
"Okay."  
  
The boy reached out and snatched up a few bags of chips. Adding them to the rice balls he had stacked on his other arm, he stepped away from the rack just enough to give Shirosaki room to grab the bag of jerky. Without another word, Shirosaki slipped away and didn't look back as he began patting his pockets in hopes of finding some money stashed away.  
  
However, Shirosaki froze once he patted each pocket twice and realized he had _nothing_. He cursed not thinking to search the clothes at the pond beforehand like a smart person would have. Shirosaki nearly whimpered when his stomach cramped up again at the false promise of food. The bag crinkled as his grip tightened and Shirosaki cast a brief glance over to the register that was located right at the entrance.  
  
He remembered Neliel telling him once about the time she accidentally walked out of a store with something she didn't buy. About how much trouble she got in and lamented over the fact that it had been over a hair accessory that she forgot trying on. So, it wasn't like he could just walk out of the store with this knowledge.  
  
He didn't bother trying to hide the pitiful sound this time since he knew there was no way he would be able to sneak past. Nor could he rip open the package to eat it then and there.  
  
 _I'm gonna starve. I'm gonna starve and die before I can tell anyone about the hospital. About how it's close to - close to..._ Shirosaki furrowed his brow and his hands started to shake. _Close to_ what _?_  
  
"Oh no." he breathed, eyes widening. "No. Not again."  
  
 _Not again, please!_  
  
 _I can't forget this!_  
  
 _I need to save them!_  
  
"Hey, you all right?"  
  
Shirosaki jumped before he turned to face whoever spoke. Only to then see the guy he'd been standing next to looking at him with concern etched onto his features. Though the first thing that initially caught Shirosaki's attention was the bright orange hair the other boy had before the guy awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck.  
  
"I mean, no offense, but you look kind of freaked out. And...really pale." Brown eyes trailed down to the jerky Shirosaki was desperately clinging to. Realization seemed to dawn after a moment and the boy locked his eyes on Shirosaki's face again. "Oh. Are you -"  
  
"I don't have anything." Shirosaki admitted, his tone shakey and defeated. "I don't..." He looked down on the bag and bit his lip. "I was - I can't afford this."  
  
 _But I'm hungry. So, so hungry._  
  
The boy ruffled up his hair as his face shifted to a scowl. "Aw, man. Did someone steal from you?" He then let out an irritated huff and waved a hand toward the front. "Look, I know you're frigging starving, so c'mon." Shirosaki's uncertain look only ended up with the guy sighing and taking the jerky with only a small fight. He set it atop his other items and jerked his chin toward the register again. "Don't worry, I'll pay for it. It's not okay for you to walk around without eating just 'cause someone robbed you."  
  
"But I -" Shirosaki shut his mouth and quickly moved to follow once the boy started walking away. "I don't want to be any trouble."  
  
The boy set his purchases down and cast a look in Shirosaki's direction. "You'd be in more trouble if you resorted to stealing. Besides, it's no big deal."  
  
Shirosaki chewed on the inside of his cheek before he wet his lips. "Thank you."  
  
"Don't mention it."  
  
Shirosaki watched as the items were rung up and felt guilt along with suspicion gnaw at his gut. He took the jerky once it was handed back and held it close to his chest as he tailed the boy outside the store. Now, with nothing stopping him, Shirosaki ripped open the package and pulled a piece out to take a huge bite out of. Relief flooded his senses and he must have made a sound of approval with the look the boy was giving him. To which Shirosaki took to mean he was bothered by it and ate the next piece slowly.  
  
He swallowed after chewing for a while and turned to regard the boy. "Thank you." His face heated up and turned his focus to the ground. "Again. You didn't have to help me."  
  
 _I'm a stranger. You don't know me._  
  
 _Can you even be trusted? I trusted them and look where that got me. Dead and tossed aside. Forgotten._  
  
"Yeah, well..." The boy reached into his bag and pulled out a rice ball. "I don't like stealing and you looked kind of desperate, all thing's considered." He unwrapped the plastic surrounding the ball and took a bite. "Or we can just call it my good deed of the day and let bygones be bygones."  
  
Shirosaki chewed on another piece and thought back on any conversation he'd possibly had that applied to this situation. He wasn't entirely sure if he should offer to pay him back with money Shirosaki would never have. If he should try doing something nice in return, like he had when Neliel gave him a sheet of paper to practice writing on.  
  
"Yeah, so..." The boy took a step forward and turned just enough to give Shirosaki a curt wave. "I'm glad you're not starving now and whatnot." He left once Shirosaki offered an embarrassed nod and Shirosaki watched him until he got swallowed up in the crowd.

* * *

It had gotten cold when the sun went down. Even more so the longer the night stretched and the chill bit at Shirosaki's senses. He gripped his jacket and held it closer as he shivered.  
  
Shirosaki continued on down the path in the park beside the river, looking at his surroundings as he did so. The moon reflected off the water's surface and some leaves flowed along with the current. It was peaceful. Not to mention quiet. A little too quiet for his tastes aside from the crickets' lull playing in the background.  
  
He couldn't help but remember nights at the hospital. How they were eerily silent until a scream penetrated the silence sometime during the night. When a patient would have a breakdown and crack under all the pressure. Grimmjow once told him that he could understand the frustration with being locked up in the 'loony bin' with no possible hope for escape.  
  
Shirosaki, being eleven at the time, wondered if it had meant anything that he couldn't understand. He'd been in the facility since he was five and hadn't seen the world since. That his only connection was Grimmjow and Neliel's stories and the books Grimmjow read to him. It wasn't until he turned thirteen that he finally began to see.  
  
He shivered once again as a breeze went by, ruffling up his hair as he had pushed his hood down earlier. Shirosaki had also taken off his sunglasses and slipped them into his jacket's pockets with the bag of jerky. He wrapped his arms around himself and hunched in to try and stave off the cold.  
  
 _I need to find somewhere to sleep._  
  
 _Somewhere no one will find me. Somewhere safe._  
  
He looked around and turned a corner to venture back into the town. The park wasn't safe and anyone would be able to find him. He couldn't exactly go into a hotel with no money or ask for shelter. Not with what he looked like and he knew this.  
  
 _Somewhere safe._  
  
Shirosaki peered into an alleyway as he started to pass and slowed to a stop. There was a dumpster in the alley and it stank enough that surely no one would want to spend time back there. That and it was still in an area that the sun would reach to help wake him up.  
  
 _Safe. This is safe._  
  
He cast a glance over his shoulder before he made his way into the alley. Shirosaki scrunched his nose at the scent wafting off the dumpster but reminded himself that it wasn't as bad as the one he fell in. He rubbed his sleeve against his nose, taking in the woodsy scent before he sat down beside the dumpster, hidden from the street.  
  
Shirosaki curled up as he reached back to pull the hood over his head. Crossing his arms, he rested them on his knees and rested his cheek against them. With a shaky breath, he willed himself to relax enough to start falling asleep.  
  
Hopeless as it was, he just wished Grimmjow and Neliel would be there when he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so we're clear, Aizen's a sick motherfucker who's willing to use whatever and whomever to accomplish his needs. Again: Grimmjow's relationship with Shirosaki is _strictly_ platonic. Like 'makeshift family' platonic. Also, I watched Bleach: Memories of Nobody after the first time in forever and, yeah, decided to bring in Ichigo's dislike of stealing because why not? Not to mention that's what actually started inspiring me to get off my ass and update this puppy.


End file.
